Little thoughts

So, since my last post about spring, it has been everything but spring. But, that's okay, today was beautiful and I think the next two days are going to be even nicer than today.

Today and yesterday was conference, and it was great. Today, Justin and I had so much fun. We first watched the morning session on our new computer hooked up to the TV. I am so glad Justin knows so much about computers. I think he thinks its just nerdy to know so much but it is really attractive to me... perhaps I have a little nerdery inside me as well. Who am I kidding, if you knew me in junior high and even high school I was 101% nerd, I just didn't know very much about what most nerds know about. So, anyways, than during the 2 hour break between sessions, we first helped my Mom book a hotel room for her little spring break vacation in Saint George. She's taking my little sister and her friend as well. I am sure it will be a lot of fun, I hope she has fun, especially how it's got to be perfect weather down there.

Than, after we helped my Mom, we went and got some pop from the coke machine. There are some times, I swear I have got to be the most annoying person but I can't help it! When I get hyper I just kind of tackle Justin and kind of tickle him and stuff, I always end up to where he's like looking at me like, "okay, will you Please leave me alone!" lol, or "Which planet did you come from?". Anyways, I do the same with Jasper as he is just so fun to play with. Even though he does just lay there a lot of the time when I play with him, he still has the same look as Justin has, it's funny when he does it as well.

So, after that we came home and watched the second session. We both really liked the talks, they were all very inspiring. I really love how much the spirit just spreads through the entire house when those prophetic men speak. It is so humbling and rejuvinating all at the same time.

After the second session was done, we than went to a little 5 acre dog park in Provo and let Jasper just hang out and run around. There were a few other dogs there but not many. Jasper got really tired after he ran around for about a half hour. He is definitely winding down and becoming a relaxed middle to old aged dog.

After we came back from the park, we came home and made fruit crepes. They were so stinking good!!! My mom gave me the recipe and they actually didn't turn out too bad. All you have to do is use some pancake mix, put a little more water than usual in the mix, add 2-3 eggs for the 4-8 pancake serving and cook each crepe in a skillet. After that, you just put any pie filling in the middle with lots of whipped cream and it's delicious and really filling. Justin gets so cute when he likes food, he starts explaining why it's so good. He's like " well, if you put the filling on the inside, with a ton of whipped cream on the outside, and than lots and lots of cinnamon, it's perfect!" And, he doesn't stop explaining his food, it's so freaking cute.

Anyways, so, sorry this blog is so long, but I should update you on how it's been going so far with the counseling. I have made a lot of progress I think. See, when I first got married, I thought that in order to be married you had to be almost exactly the same with all of the important goals and values. I kind of got caught up in this unfortunately though where I felt like I needed to make him sacrifice for us to make me feel like we were on the same page. I was unconciously forcing and making him change for me. Well, this was not working at all for me and I am very very glad because we would be in a much different situation now that would cause both of us to be completely miserable.

I am not sure if I am making much sense, but I am making a lot of progress. I absolutely cannot control his thoughts or actions, I was mostly trying to control his thoughts. He has his right to be and do whatever he wants to do and be. Even if it does affect me, that does not mean he doesn't have the right to do it. I have my right to be and do what I want to do and be. I am in control of myself and myself only. If I want to be happy, no one can truly make me happy except myself.

So, as you can imagine, this has helped me so much when we have any kind of issue with each other. Luckily, I have a very patient and long suffering husband, and it is much easier because of that fact.

Anyways, the counselor said that it is so good that we are figuring this out before we have children as they would be thanking us thoroughly for it. He said he can tell why we chose eachother as we do care about each other a lot. These two things help me a lot to focus on changing myself.

So, well, I better end this blog as it is going way too long I think. Well, love you all and hope you have a great Sunday and a great week this week!!! :D

Spring is here!!

Hey, so because I love spring and it has finally started I wanted to write a blog about it. I know it snowed a little yesterday, but I am convinced that it is officially spring.

I love spring, as you can tell from my blog layout. Justin and I were first dating during this time of year and it brings back a lot of good memories. Also, it is the time of year when I was born and when a lot of my sisters were born as well. And, spring is just so fresh and inviting, everything seems new and alive. I prefer to think of the year actually starting in spring as that's when we actually seem to do better at our New Years Resolutions.

So, everything is going good here still! :) We just barely got home from WalMart and now have quite a bit of food. Justin and I still wonder how in the heck people go like 3 weeks without shopping again. Maybe we're just kind of big eaters, but, seriously, we don't eat a ton and we don't eat a large variety of food every day.

A little about what we've been up to: we have been trying to set a date night every week, Justin and I, so that we have a little better week the following week. This last date night we made a sheet tent in the front room, played scrabble and ate food. We are kind of immature.. okay, I'm a little immature as I have been wanting to make a sheet tent in the front room for a little while.

Also, work is going well for Justin and I. Justin is still doing great at school. Today, my family is having a trust fund meeting to talk about our year end goals and where our trust fund stands right now. Justin is going to an interview type thing to get and internship at a recording studio during the summer, while we're having the trust fund meeting, so he won't be there. But, I will tell the whole family about what he's trying to accomplish.

So, well, I better go get ready for work, Justin is making us bacon and eggs before I go, he's a very sweet husband. :D Well, love you all and hope you're all doing well!

Hi! So, I decided to write a new blog for this month. That seems to be my routine.

Well, to start off, Justin and I and Jasper are doing great. Justin is still chugging his way through school and work and I am still working at PetsMart. Jasper is getting older that's for sure. He loves to sleep a lot more and he is getting quite a bit of gray hair around his eyes. We think he is about 8 1/2 years old now so he still has about 6-7 years left we hope. :)

I also got three new fish last week. I have a 16 gallon bow front aquarium. Now we have 3 swordtails in the tank and soon we'll have some silver sailfin Mollys in it as well.

So, its really been going great lately. :)

Justin and I have been going to a Marriage Counselor. While we were in our sunday school class, they were talking about strengthening our marriage and said BYU has a free program for married couples that are attending BYU. Because Justin is going to BYU, they let me go for free as well with him. It's been going well. Justin and I really love each other a lot and even though we are like the difference between a pea and a carrot, only imagine the carrot were actually a fruit, we go together like peas and carrots. Although, I hate peas and carrots so that was kind of a bad description of us, we go together like spam and rice, is better :).

But, basically, when it comes down to it, no other guy could really put up with me the way he does. I do have this tendancy to argue a lot when I am angry. And, even though I actually stop being angry inside, I still lash out and it's so, so hard to control it. And, worst of all, I always hurt his feelings while I am arguing and I hate that most of all. But, I am doing better at it and I now know when I need to push the stop button and just relax for a minute. Slowly but surely, it's getting much easier to control. But, seriously, I have no idea how Justin put up with me in our first year. Even if I am angry he still just wants to hold me and let me know he loves me. But, for some reason, I can't let him in to make things better. For him, it's like when you're sliding on ice and you can neither stop or push on the gas, you just have to hang out in neutral and hope for the best. This is why I am trying so hard to change my behavior because not only do I love him the same way, but I never want him to hurt because of me.

So, anyways, I am really grateful for him and he knows he has all of my heart and more.

This blog is definitely a different blog than normal. This is just a huge thing going on in my life and I haven't ever really told anyone about what was going on, how I have huge anger control issues. But, I am working through them, and I think the first part to changing is admiting that I do have a problem.

So, but, it is going good over here. I now vacuum every other day and I clean regularly. I also, love taking care of Justin and Jasper and our little fish now. I am really, really excited for spring and all the new life that happens during this time of year. I also know my Heavenly Father does love me and is watching over our little family. Although, I do wonder why he doesn't sometimes smack me around a little bit. But, it's only up from here and I will definitely make a few mistakes, but they won't be as bad as the one before it hopefully. :D

Well, I hope everything is going well with everyone else. I love reading everyone's blog as it is so strengthening to me, thank you for being such good people. :) Have a good day!