Hi! So, I decided to write a new blog for this month. That seems to be my routine.

Well, to start off, Justin and I and Jasper are doing great. Justin is still chugging his way through school and work and I am still working at PetsMart. Jasper is getting older that's for sure. He loves to sleep a lot more and he is getting quite a bit of gray hair around his eyes. We think he is about 8 1/2 years old now so he still has about 6-7 years left we hope. :)

I also got three new fish last week. I have a 16 gallon bow front aquarium. Now we have 3 swordtails in the tank and soon we'll have some silver sailfin Mollys in it as well.

So, its really been going great lately. :)

Justin and I have been going to a Marriage Counselor. While we were in our sunday school class, they were talking about strengthening our marriage and said BYU has a free program for married couples that are attending BYU. Because Justin is going to BYU, they let me go for free as well with him. It's been going well. Justin and I really love each other a lot and even though we are like the difference between a pea and a carrot, only imagine the carrot were actually a fruit, we go together like peas and carrots. Although, I hate peas and carrots so that was kind of a bad description of us, we go together like spam and rice, is better :).

But, basically, when it comes down to it, no other guy could really put up with me the way he does. I do have this tendancy to argue a lot when I am angry. And, even though I actually stop being angry inside, I still lash out and it's so, so hard to control it. And, worst of all, I always hurt his feelings while I am arguing and I hate that most of all. But, I am doing better at it and I now know when I need to push the stop button and just relax for a minute. Slowly but surely, it's getting much easier to control. But, seriously, I have no idea how Justin put up with me in our first year. Even if I am angry he still just wants to hold me and let me know he loves me. But, for some reason, I can't let him in to make things better. For him, it's like when you're sliding on ice and you can neither stop or push on the gas, you just have to hang out in neutral and hope for the best. This is why I am trying so hard to change my behavior because not only do I love him the same way, but I never want him to hurt because of me.

So, anyways, I am really grateful for him and he knows he has all of my heart and more.

This blog is definitely a different blog than normal. This is just a huge thing going on in my life and I haven't ever really told anyone about what was going on, how I have huge anger control issues. But, I am working through them, and I think the first part to changing is admiting that I do have a problem.

So, but, it is going good over here. I now vacuum every other day and I clean regularly. I also, love taking care of Justin and Jasper and our little fish now. I am really, really excited for spring and all the new life that happens during this time of year. I also know my Heavenly Father does love me and is watching over our little family. Although, I do wonder why he doesn't sometimes smack me around a little bit. But, it's only up from here and I will definitely make a few mistakes, but they won't be as bad as the one before it hopefully. :D

Well, I hope everything is going well with everyone else. I love reading everyone's blog as it is so strengthening to me, thank you for being such good people. :) Have a good day!